Disclaimer #1: This tactic will only work on little kids.
Disclaimer #2: I don’t make it a habit to lie to my kid.
Disclaimer #3: I’ll be using my HEY MOMMY voice in this post (MommyTechBytes is sometimes referred to by her daughter as “HEY MOMMY.”)
I’m just going to come out and say it. I told a lie to my 3-year-old. But don’t judge me yet. Here’s what happened: It’s 5:00pm on a rainy Saturday and Sasha has just watched YOOOOOO Gabba Gabba! for the hundredth time. (I’m adding a few “O’s” to the show’s official name.) She watches it on Netflix, which means instant gratification of DJ Lance Rock and those weird looking creatures (nothing personal, Nickelodeon) whenever she wants and Mommy and Daddy allow.
Selfishly, I allow her several episodes in a row because I’m very busy on my computer doing very important things while the Hubby is out. Finally, I notice there is something wrong with Sasha’s eyes. They are NOT BLINKING. She is staring at DJ Lance Rock in a hypnotic trance. (She is usually singing and dancing on top of the coffee table so this is highly irregular for her.)
Inner thought: OMG, I will literally be that mom who burned out her kid’s eye sockets from staring at bright, orange hair!
Yep, that’s enough to pry me away from the computer. I turn off the TV.
“HEY MOMMY! I’m watching!” she says.
This “HEY MOMMY” thing is new. “Oh she’s just spirited,” people say to me. You realize people are just being polite when your child changes your name from “Mommy” to “HEY MOMMY.” The truth is, I have a crazed, tech and TV-addicted kid on my hands. And I know I’m partly to blame. (Ok, maybe a lot to blame.)
So, I need to fix this. In business, especially working with social media, it’s essential to have a crisis management plan. So too with Tech Parenting! I’m here to tell you what you can say when alternate activities (Let’s do arts and crafts! Let’s play with dolls, trucks, cooking etc.), warnings, and time-outs fail to succeed in thwarting a two-hour tantrum.
THIS IS WHAT YOU SAY:
“DJ Lance Rock has to go to bed now.”
Picture SHELL-SHOCKED child. (OMG, Mommy is a genius!!!)
“He does?”
“Yes, he needs his rest too.” (Now give yourself a little pat on the back for cleverness.)
“Why?” (Our favorite question.)
“So he’ll have enough energy to sing and dance for you tomorrow.”
“Oh.” (She processes this.) “Okay.”
Putting aside the fact that 1) I’ve just told a white lie about TV characters going to sleep and 2) I personally think DC Lance Rock runs on supercharged batteries 24/7, I think I stumbled upon a pretty awesome notion here.
TV characters go to sleep too!
I mean, technically, it takes real actors behind the scenes to play the characters and do voiceover work, so it’s not that big of a stretch, right?
Well, that’s what I’m gonna tell my daughter when she calls me out one day on my little white lie. Hopefully by then she’ll be over DJ Lance! I just don’t know if I’ll be ready for the Bieb yet.
